Life Lessons: Don’t be an Orbitor Part 1

This series (“Life Lessons”) will be a compilation of real lessons of life that I’ve learned during my 21 years. I’ve either experienced these Life Lessons myself, saw many friends go through them, or was passed on the wisdom by someone else. In this case, all three of the aforementioned apply. 

If you’re a guy and suddenly realize that this applies to you, smack yourself in the head and don’t be that dude anymore. 

A scientific breakdown of The Orbitor.

I’d like you to introduce you all to the concept of The Orbitor®. 

I know this post is a bit long (I'm assuming you've scrolled down and groaned at the length already), but I promise you'll find it interesting at the least, or perhaps you'll be able to relate to the concept itself.

This is an actual theory/category of mine that I’ve shared with a bunch of my friends, and most of them agree that this is indeed accurate. Yes, including females.

To any women who disagree with this, or think that I’m being a dick: you’re just mad that I’m honest and calling you out on your tricks ;)

Gaurav's dictionary defines The Orbitor® as follows:

Any single male who is looking and is thoroughly interested in a girl but is a) “friend zoned” by her, b) is scared to lose her as a friend, c) has already been rejected by her once (or twice, or three times...), or d) refuses to make any moves because he has no balls.

However, he will constantly hover around her in her life (i.e. – Orbit), be there for her to lean on, not make it overtly clear that he likes her, or generally pull some soft “sweet guy” shit daily in hopes that sooner or later she will come around and give him a chance. However, he waits more than he acts. Little does he know that once she knows he is a fix in her Orbit, he has no chance.

Example:  “Man, Henry is always orbiting Sarah eh?”

“I know right! He’s been orbiting her for about 4 years and still hasn’t gotten any.”

A classic sign that you're probably an Orbitor.

 

Fact of life: Attractive girls will usually have around 2-5 of these losers hovering around them at any given time. Let the other lames do it, and don’t be that guy.

Anyway, that is the basic definition. Most guys have been in this position at least once in their lives (which is likely when they learned that there are much easier ways to get women). It ultimately results in the girl letting The Orbitor® know that she is happy he is “there for her”, but she can’t look at him “that way” (translation: “grow some balls first, or get more attractive”) for whatever reason.

On the other hand, some guys naturally know how to avoid such pathetic scenarios. Hang out with these guys more.

In general, this unfortunate situation tends to happen a lot to larger guys without mean streaks who want to get some, but don’t really have the qualities in them (physically or otherwise) that the girl is interested in.

It also happens to guys who want to be nice all the time, and are afraid of standing up for what they believe in, or guys who just don’t have game in general.

Any time a girl tells you you’re her “best friend”, but you really just want to hook up with her, you have failed in getting your mack on. Shame on you.

(That sound you just heard was about 10 girls reading this nodding in approval.)

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Click here for Part II